


i would you were as i would have you be

by younglemonade



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:12:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9339068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/younglemonade/pseuds/younglemonade
Summary: supercorp headcannons.





	1. cheerleaders & space-nerds

**Author's Note:**

> this chapter is based off my post: "I am here af for that “Kara is the head cheerleader who has a crush on alt Lena luthor” headcanon I am seeing. I am also here af tho for jagged-edges, ivy-league-bound, bitchy head cheerleader Lena who has tried (successfully) to make herself untouchable, being completely emotionally decked by space nerd Kara Danvers, Alex’s foster kid sister and losing all her famous cool."

 - Lena is a little jaded, a little lost; Lex hasn’t spiralled completely, not publically, not yet, but she can feel him slipping away, losing her only anchor in her family  
  
 - on the best of days, her parents are simply indifferent to her, so Lena does her best to walk this line of bitter perfection, trying not to accidentally step into territory where they’ll actively despise her  
  
 - Lena’s used to people wanting to be friends with her last name, not _her_ , so she settles on being respected, rather than liked  
  
 - she joins the cheerleading squad, and is captain by sophomore year, because no one else works as hard as she does, glares as well as she does, has as much drive to be anywhere but in this town with these people  
  
 - she dates her way through the various athletic teams, trying to find a boy who will impress her parents  
  
 - she gets pretty good at giving these boys practically nothing but still tugging them along in her wake with only a kiss or two, pushing down how uncomfortable she gets around them, and she gets labelled as a tease but she doesn’t care, because there’s always another boy waiting to try his luck, and maybe he’s the one that makes Lillian nod approvingly  
  
 - she’s only hooked up with girls when she’s on vacation states or even countries away, girls who don’t know her name and can’t spread rumours that will find their way back to her parents  
  
 - Lena tries to forget about them, because it’s not like it means anything, and she’s pretty good at pretending not to care, coming from a family like hers  
  
 - so Lena’s got a reputation for being ambitious and kind of a bitch, sitting atop the social pyramid like it’s a throne, looking down at the lower ranks, completely untouchable

 

 - in junior year, Alex Danvers, who was Lena’s lab partner back in freshman year, gets a foster sister  
  
 - Lena hears about it through the gossip vine, and while it tugs at her heart a bit (she still remembers being shunted around from house to house, not finding a home, never finding one), she doesn’t go out of her way to meet this girl  
  
 - one afternoon, long after cheer practice is over, and everyone’s gone home, Lena’s running laps on the field, letting the sun set around her  
  
 - it’s almost dark by the time she realises there’s someone lying at the top of the bleachers, staring up at the sky  
  
 - and of course Lena goes up to them, because this is her sacred space, where she runs away from everything, and she doesn’t take too kindly to it being invaded  
  
 - but then of course it’s this pretty girl who shines in the last of the sun, and she smiles and Lena is _fucked_  
  
 - and that’s how she meets sophomore space-nerd Kara Danvers, who has lost everything and has every right to be completely unhappy, and isn’t  
  
 - Lena means to tell her to get out, but they end up talking until it’s well past completely dark and Kara’s getting texts telling her to come home, please (Lena doesn’t get these, because her parents don’t notice, don’t care)  
  
 - she’s completely Emotionally Decked™ by this bubbly, kind blonde who manages to fit more niceness and smiles into a minute than Lena’s been exposed to in the last year of her life

 

 - the next night, Lena’s on the track again, not so much to run away as towards, hoping Kara will show again; Kara, who doesn’t know who Lena’s family is, and doesn’t care  
  
 - Kara’s back as soon as the sun starts to sink, because apparently this is the best place in town to see the stars

 

 - it’s not like they have a standing date or anything, and never say “see you next time”, but they’re always there

 

 - they bump into each other during school hours, and poor Kara has never seen Lena in her uniform, so that’s kind of a shock (the skirt’s pretty short)  
  
 - everyone likes Kara, she’s bright and nice and sort of like a puppy and how could you _not_ like her, but they’re still shocked when Lena _Luthor_ smiles at her, because she never smiles at anyone

 

 - Kara is completely different from everyone else Lena’s ever met, and it’s intoxicating and utterly terrifying at the same time  
  
 - she’s careful at the start, trying not to feel things, but eventually she gets reckless, because Kara makes it dangerously easy

 

 - Kara bumps into Lena in the hallway and makes her drop all her books, and everyone is waiting for Kara to be dragged to infinity and back, but nothing happens  
  
 - Lena just picks up her things and asks which way Kara is going, walks with her  
  
 - the other shoe never drops  


 - and whenever someone calls Lena _cold_ or _bitchy_ , Kara’s just there like, “no oh my gosh she’s the nicest person” because she hasn’t worked out that she’s only really like that for Kara  
  
\- they’re the most confusing friendship in school, the head cheerleader and the new foster kid, but at the same time, anyone would say they can see why they’ve gravitated together, can admit that they _fit,_ even if they can’t explain it

 

 - Lena constantly cancels on her various dates to hang out with Kara  
  
 - like Lena might’ve planned something a week in advance with the basketball captain but then Kara suggests they go see that new documentary this afternoon, and _bam_ , that boy is getting a “sorry something came up”

 

 - the first time Kara hugs her, Lena stiffens for a second, before holding her just as tight  
  
 - “is this okay?” she asks  
  
 - “I’ve never learned how to do this,” she says, because no one ever taught her, ever showed her, ever hugged her for a reason that wasn’t to whisper a covert reprimand in her ear hidden under the guise of motherly affection  
  
 - she doesn’t understand hugs that aren’t lies  
  
 - “it’s exactly right,” Kara tells her, but still insists that they practice

 

 - Kara’s tactile, and Lena adapts  
  
 - eventually, her reputation is amended from “frigid bitch” to “frigid bitch who totally defrosts around the little Danvers”

 

 - Alex is ready to kill Lena if there’s ever the slightest hint she’s playing Kara, if this is some kind of prank, but it doesn’t take her long to work out Kara’s oblivious and Lena’s in way over her head

 

 - Winn tries to teach Kara to skateboard, and when she breaks her arm, Lena glares at him so fiercely that Winn’s afraid to leave the computer labs for a week

 

 - Kara starts an astronomy club, and Lena joins, of course she does, because she’s whipped, and the combination of Lena’s social pull and Kara’s smile means the group grows exponentially  
  
 - they always start off meetings talking about the cosmos, but eventually they start trying to make puppy constellations or playing particularly ruthless games of monopoly

 

 - Kara only comes over when Lena’s parents are at least on the other seaboard, but preferably out of the country  
  
 - she doesn’t want to mix black paint and yellow paint

 

 - Lena spends months trying to tone down the gay because Kara is the only real friend she’s ever had, and she’s not about to screw up everything they’ve built  
  
 - it’s hard and awkward and on some days when Kara’s looking especially pretty, Lena avoids her like the plague

 

 - it’s Maggie Sawyer from the volleyball team who leads Kara by the hand to realising how she feels about Lena with some very pointed questions, because maybe that girl can make connect-the-dots pictures out of stars that Maggie can’t see for the life of her, but she’s amazingly blind to anything closer than orbit  
  
 - and Maggie thought this was funny for a while but now it’s just getting painful and Alex is way too overprotective to give them the necessary prod, so it falls to her

 

 - Kara is suddenly way too aware of herself and everything she says and does after she works out she has a giant crush on Lena  
  
 - Lena misinterprets the change in behaviour as Kara finally following everyone else’s lead on the Luthor front, and she thinks Kara’s pulling away, so she pulls away first  
  
 - Lena understands physics; knows about velocity and impact, and how there is less damage the earlier you slow down (leave)

 

 - they’re not officially _not speaking_ , but Lena stops staying back at the track after cheer practice, and doesn’t go to astronomy club anymore  
  
 - Kara isn’t sure what’s going on, worries she’s done something wrong; Alex offers to verbally decimate Lena is crowded corridor, but Kara turns her down  
  
 - you can’t make someone want you, after all

 

 - the volleyball team throws a party at Maggie’s house, just before the summer  
  
 - Alex goes because it’s _Maggie_ , and she’s going to be a DD for some of the girls, and she drags Kara along with her, because “I know parties aren’t your thing, Kara, but you can’t stay home all weekend”  
  
 - Lena goes, because she’s kind-of dating the quarterback (he’s tall and uncomfortably male, but his lips are soft and sometimes she can almost pretend it’s not a boy holding her if she closes her eyes), and half of his teammates are dating girls on the team, or want to

 

 - they get dragged into a game of seven minutes in heaven, which Lena decrees to be childish and stupid, but still plays because she doesn’t want to look like she has a reason not to (especially a blonde, sophomore reason who is pretty and Lena can’t really take being locked in a tiny room alone with)  
  
 - Lena’s quarterback date and a basketball player get sent off to the bathroom together, because according to Maggie, “I don’t care if you’re both guys, rules are rules”  
  
 - the game carries on, and Lena’s a bit anxious but she still won’t drink, because she’s a Luthor, and she can’t afford a single slip-up, not to mention waking that sense of deep oblivion that lurks below her surface, or loosening her tongue to the point where she might tell her hands-y date that actually, she’d rather he _never_ touched her  
  
 - then she spins Kara and apparently rules are still rules, because Maggie is shoving them both to the bathroom, telling them to lock the door and that there’s no early escapes, she doesn’t want to look at either of them for exactly seven minutes

 

 - Lena came straight from school, so she’s still in her cheer uniform, but Kara’s in shorts and a tank top and Lena itches to touch her so she knots her fingers behind her back  
  
 - “we don’t have to -” she starts, but then Kara’s right in her space, pressing up against her, and Lena can feel the sink against her back  
  
 - because there’s a time for radio silence and a time for taking chances  
  
 - but Kara’s Kara, so she waits until Lena’s had more than two chances to pull away before closing the last of the distance between them, and they’re kissing

 

 - Lena knows this makes them some ridiculous high school small town cliché, but she doesn’t actually care, right here, right now, because it’s _Kara_ and she’d run through every rom-com trope in human history if it meant she could kiss her like this  
  
 - they lose track of time pretty quickly  
  
 - Lena’s hands slide up under the tank top and Kara shivers when Lena kisses her neck  
  
 - then Lena’s lifting herself up onto the edge of the counter, knocking some soaps over, and she should straighten them out, but she doesn’t get to because Kara’s nails are tracing tiny patterns on her thighs, always shying away a few inches before the hem of her skirt  
  
 - Kara makes a _noise_ that Lena feels in her bones  
  
 - Lena would never push, but she’s literally half a second from tugging those hesitant hands a little higher, or getting rid of that tank top all together, when Maggie knocks on the door  
  
 - they fumble quickly in an attempt to look presentable, and not like they were doing exactly what they were just doing

 

 - they hang out for about five more minutes at the party before Lena texts her date that she’s not feeling well, and Kara tells Alex that she’ll meet her back at the house (and promises to text every half hour so her foster sister knows she’s okay)  
  
 - Lena drives them to the football field and they lie on almost-damp grass and look up at the stars, fingers tangling

 

 - eventually, they have to Talk, and they do  
  
 - Lena tells Kara that she misses her terribly, and that she likes her Too Much, which is a death trap with Lillian around  
  
 - Kara tells Lena that she’s really into her, and for a moment there, it’d be easy for Lena to just give in, to let herself have something good  
  
 - but she’s a Luthor and life isn’t like that, and they agree to be Just Friends, because maybe Kara doesn’t completely understand what Lena’s home life is like, but she’s starting to

 

 - their resolution to be platonic lasts until their shared spare between fourth and fifth period, when they end up making out in the janitor’s closet  
  
 - Lena would probably make a closet joke if she wasn’t totally focused on how Kara’s biting her lip

 

 - Lena says that she can’t date Kara, not while she’s still under her parents’ thumb, not while they control every part of her life and have the power to ruin everything  
  
 - she insists that Kara deserves better than being somebody’s secret, and Kara in turn insists that doesn’t care, because it’s _Lena_ , and sometimes beautiful things are meant to be secrets, like those hidden islands full of rare wildlife, or the constellations that hardly anyone can pick out of the sky

 

 - so they get to be themselves, be together, only when the Luthors are hundreds of miles away and Lena has the house to herself, or when she goes over to Kara’s  
  
 - she can’t help but wonder what she would be like if she’d been adopted by a family like the Danvers  
  
 - but if one of them had to live with the Luthors, Lena’s glad it was her, because Lillian could’ve blown out even a light as bright as Kara’s

 

 - the quarterback keeps trying to get Lena to go out with him again, so Kara takes to glaring at him sometimes when he’s not looking

 

 - they study Romeo & Juliet in English, even though Lena announces it’s a tired addition to the curriculum that is incorrectly contextualised as the epitome of romance when really, it’s a group of reckless teenagers with a propensity for selfish disaster and destruction  
  
 - she thinks about how maybe in some universes, Romeo wants Juliet but Juliet wants Rosaline, and perhaps the ending would be the same or it could be different, but either way, Lena doubts it would be anything other than a tragedy

 

 - Lillian and Lionel spend the summer in France, and Lena convinces them to let her stay behind  
  
 - she passes the three months with Kara, on the beach, watching movies, riding bikes and driving up the hills to lie on the hood and tell legends to match made-up constellations

 

 - the day before school starts, Lena tells Kara that she loves her  
  
 - she’s never said it to anyone before, never heard it back, but now she has and she does

 

 - in another year, she’ll be an adult, and the Luthors won’t own her anymore  
  
 - maybe then, she’ll be able to kiss Kara in the sunlight


	2. alcoholics anonymous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: lena + aa / headcannons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, i’m assuming aa means alcoholics anonymous, not some trope thing i’m not aware of. i’m not an alcoholic, and don’t know any alcoholics, so i can’t be completely accurate, but this prompt did interest me. tw: alcoholism. 
> 
> apologies if this offended or upset anyone. please let me know and i’ll take it down.

\- it starts after Lex’s spiral, really starts, that is (before, she’d sipped whiskey with her brother in celebration at galas and graduations, or glared at her mother over the top of flutes of champagne, but nothing like this)

\- she’s heard people say they drink until they forget their own names, but in Lena’s case, that’s literal; she’s experimenting, trying to see if there’s enough alcohol in the world to erase the word _Luthor_

\- she reaches out to her brother, the first person she ever really loved, tries to reign him in, but every time he casts her aside, it gets harder and harder to mould herself back into shape

\- wine is a crutch, bourbon’s a bandage, she’s not picky, she just needs something that burns enough to settle warmly over old scars and fresh cuts

\- she wouldn’t call it a _problem,_ exactly; maybe a habit

\- she leans on drinks instead of people, and that’s unhealthy, she knows, but she doesn’t have a choice; she’s an alien on her own planet, part of a flaming family that’s smoking and blazing and will leave her with nothing but embers

\- Lena drinks responsibly at bars and clubs and restaurants, not willing to risk anything in front of waiting cameras; it’s only once she gets home that she takes the steps to forget

\- her brother is _evil_ , there are no websites about how to deal with that, no popularly-approved coping mechanisms 

\- and she’s tainted by association, covered in the blood on his hands, and she doesn’t have the foundations to survive a fall this hard

\- she’s never drunk at work, never shows up with a hangover: she always crashes hard and recovers well, ever-capable, ever-confident 

\- growing up, her parents always had a drink in their hand, a cigarette between their fingers, and maybe that’s why it’s easy not to think of it as an addiction; everyone drinks, everyone loses it a bit occasionally, it’s not like she’s into drugs or pain or anything like that 

\- except there comes a point where there’s probably more alcohol at her house than food and she’s not sure she could live without it anymore  
 ****

\- she _really_ lubricates her experience of Lex’s trial

\- she gets sick, gets thin, gets tired

\- it’s all falling apart

\- maybe it’s a cry for help, but if it is, it doesn’t matter, because no one’s listening 

\- she looks around at what Lex has done, and even though everyone else is allowed to grieve, she can’t pause for that (for who she lost, for what he did), because she realises that it’s up to her to fix it

\- in the end, Lena saves herself, as she always does

\- even as she feels oddly sure she’s still in control, the logical part of herself whispers that something needs to _be done_ , and so she listens to that, treats herself like an addict

\- she pours every bottle down the sink, throws them out in a fit of strength and willpower, because undoubtedly the resolve will waver and she doesn’t want anything on hand for when she’s weak again

\- she can’t afford to implode, not when there’s people who need her, a world waiting to be better; when she’s lifted her name out of the dirt, then maybe she’ll allow herself to tumble six feet under into a grave of her own making, but not today 

\- she doesn’t check into a fancy rehab for people as rich as her, doesn’t have the time or the stomach to handle those headlines on top of Lex’s 

\- she goes to an AA meeting, sits in a folding plastic chair and says nothing for the first six times she attends

\- Lena doesn’t really talk to anyone else, except a brunette girl who’s been sober for a few years

\- apparently, she used to dabble in whiskey and beer, the high-proof therapy she used after her father’s death; she talks a lot about her sister, about the people in her life (and herself) who she got better for 

\- this girl, Alex, becomes an informal kind of sponsor

\- she seems to understand that Lena doesn’t need the _alcohol_ so much as she needs the _quiet_ , the empty susurrus that being intoxicated brings, the ability to drown the static noise of her mind 

\- sometimes Alex brings cookies to AA that her sister bakes; they’re good

\- one time after a meeting, Lena cries into Alex’s shoulder in an alleyway, because every day she wakes up and it wasn’t a dream, Lex did what he did, and nothing will ever be as it was again

\- Alex gives Lena her number, tells her to call her if it ever gets too much

\- after a day where she loses count of all the death threats and bailing investors and bitter words hollered at her from across the street, when she’s itching to just _drown_ , she dials Alex’s phone

\- it’s Alex’s sister who picks up, says that Alex is in the shower, and that she’ll be out to talk in just a second

\- Lena doesn’t know this girl beyond Alex’s story, and it’s really Alex who she trusts, so she can’t bring herself to speak

\- Alex’s sister doesn’t mind, just fills the silence and the time by talking softly about the _Friends_ episode she’s watching, the argument she and Alex had about pineapple on pizza, and how she tried to bake choc-chip cookies but burned them terribly and now her whole apartment smells like a sugar cemetery 

\- it’s calming in a different way to Alex’s steadiness and experience; it’s an IV drip of innocence that allows Lena to breathe deep and wipe tears and remind herself that people are _good_ and _bright_ and Lex did not tarnish the entirety of the world 

\- at one of their meetings, Alex talks about her sister sitting with her through withdrawals and sickness, about learning new coping mechanisms, about gradually super-gluing herself back together again

\- Alex’s sister picks up the phone a couple more time over the next few months, when Alex is out picking up pizza or has ducked out to ask the neighbour to turn the music down 

\- she’s sweet and kind and Lena has no idea what she looks like, but sort of imagines sunshine, and Lena finds out that her name is Kara

\- Alex invites her to have dinner with her and her sister to celebrate Lena’s six months sober, but she turns her down; she doesn’t want to meet the voice from the phone while she’s still half a mess

\- she might not be an alcoholic anymore, but she’s not exactly a functioning person

\- but oblivion no longer holds the allure it once did, and she’s in therapy these days, L-Corp’s stock is up and Lex is out of the news

\- the rollercoaster is tilting up

\- Lena hires a new secretary, arranges partnerships with local schools’ science departments, kills Lex’s pet projects, and rewrites all the company objectives 

\- she finds places that make her feel safe, foods that comfort her, music that calms her down

\- she learns how to remember the good parts of Lex and deal with the bad, starts to come to terms with herself 

\- it’s been a year since she last looked at alcohol; every L-Corp gala is sober, she donates privately to AA and charities that support overcoming addiction

\- one day, Kara comes to pick Alex up from AA when her car is in the shop, and it’s kind of an accident that Lena meets her, but this girl is even brighter than she imagined

\- Lena feels like she’s building herself, becoming something, the best version of herself that she’s ever been, but not the best that she ever will be (the ceiling is not just high above them, but infinitely so)

\- she might’ve warmed slowly to Alex (they’re both too cautious to ever make fast friends), but with Kara, it’s hard not to instantly catch alight

\- she doesn’t know that Lena is a Luthor and Lena doesn’t tell her, just lets herself enjoy the anonymity 

\- they invite her to get pizza with them and she can’t imagine saying no

\- Kara eats more pizza than should be physically possible; she laughs like happiness is not a limited commodity; she doesn’t look at Lena like she’s a fractured mirror

\- it’s nothing, really, just dinner, but it feels like Something, maybe like it could become a beginning

\- time crawls on, and at first it is just the Danvers, but Lena’s world gradually expands to include more faces, more friends; she curates a museum of people to smile around, to be strong for, to care for unconditionally

\- Winn, who loves technology almost as much as she does; a lifetime ago she might’ve spent Saturday night at a bar, but now, she passes it buried deep in a lab with her cardigan-wearing nerd, fighting cheerfully about Tesla coils

\- Lucy, whose wardrobe is even better than Lena’s, and chronically mainlines coffee, but never, ever makes “caffeine addict” jokes; she helps Lena go through all of L-Corp’s policy that is left over from when it was Luthor-Corp, eradicating every hint of prejudice and bitterness, crafting a force for good

\- James, who offers her M&Ms when she visits him at CatCo instead of a drink, who watches baseball games with her because the rest of the group can’t understand the appeal; he texts her at exactly 8:30am every Monday morning with a string of emojis that sum up exactly how stressful being a CEO is, and she sends him something encouraging back

\- Kara gets effortlessly under Lena’s skin, makes her glow, makes her heart grow about twenty sizes and it’s dangerous and irrepressible 

\- but she loves it 

\- for the first time in years, the neon skyline is full of hope and promise and there are no limits in any direction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> send me anything you want headcannons for! :P

**Author's Note:**

> hey, so this was posted on tumblr earlier also. hmu with any headcannon requests.


End file.
